Have you ever had surgery? What for?

Dailyprompt 1984

Oh, my goodness gracious me! Surgery? Yes, indeedy – and eye-wateringly gruesome too, though fortunately I was off my head (as the saying goes) on some drug or another, and lurched into theatre on the arm of a friendly nurse…

A year ago (almost to the day), and having been squeezing droplets into my right seeing orb all night, I was driven to a local hospital for cataract surgery. Gurt lush – NOT!

What I didn’t realise was that the medication both numbed my eye, and left me feeling as high as a week-old-demised-stoat, and the short walk to the OR (as the Americans like to call it) was fraught with difficulty. Just as well I had a helper, otherwise I would have gone arse-over-tit almost immediately.

Lying down upon The Bed of Ocular Doom was a tad anxiety-provoking, and the idea of my entire face being covered by a cloth induced a kind of stoned paranoia I would not wish upon my worst enemy. Fortunately, ’twas only my eye that was veiled.

Pain wasn’t really a problem, though the procedure was uncomfortable and seemed to go on for about six months. The eye surgeon and I kept up a barrage of light chat and (in my case) drugged repartee throughout.

At the end of it, my eye covered with a plastic patch doodah, I staggered out – and, blow me down with a rogue hairdryer, could see things clearly for the first time in I know not how long…

A relief all round. Just don’t get me started on the colonoscopy!

#surgery #daily prompt #humour #operations #eyes #cataracts